Little Sister, Big Sister

I had a pretty crappy day today, and when this happens, I find myself letting my mind wander to far away (and long ago) places. I read an article about clowns today (somewhere on the internet), and it made me think of my sister.


My sister *loved* clowns. In the house I spent my early years in, my sister had a room full of clowns. I think she even had some form of clown wall paper at one point, but I can't be sure. (That actually might have been my room, but it would have been long before I was capable of making decorating decisions on my own... so I'll blame it on my mom.) Anyway, I do clearly recall the dozens of clown figurines she had.


They scared the be-gee-zus out of me.


It was really a horrible thing, too, because I always loved to have little mini-slumber parties in her room, and I would have to really psych myself up to be able to go to sleep. I could see all of these big noses and painted cheshire grins, and I could feel my tiny heart pounding as it attempted to leap out of my chest.


It probably didn't help any that my sister would sometimes goad my fear just a tiny bit. I'll give her credit - most of the time she told wonderful stories about houses made out of candy and princesses in far away lands. But sometimes... she would introduce me to her "pets".


We were both born with a curious kind of imagination, and she used hers to invent these "invisible animals" that slept above her bed. It would've been okay (probably) if she'd picked kindly animals like ponies or kittens, but no, she once told me that she had a pet spider... and that it was going to crawl on me...


While I slept.


Can you think of anything scarier to a seven year old girl? Scarier than an invisible spider that will crawl on you while you sleep?


I think not.


I think she told me these stories on the nights when she really wanted to sleep alone, but they never deterred me. I would lay there in the dark and listen to her breathe, praying that I would feel anything creepy or crawly.


And I don't know if she ever realized this or not, but the whole reason I was able to sleep was because I would always think to myself that she would protect me (from her invisible pets, ha!).


And she did.


Sometimes she still does.