My brain came up with this question all on its own today when I was reading (skimming) some articles on CNN about marriage and its possible demise. Every couple of months it seems like they come out with something new. Something shinier. Some article or clip about how the world is changing and everything is going downhill in a handbasket straight to hell.
Way to be positive, world.
Even in my darkest days as the crazy cat lady, I still believed in the institution of marriage. I didn’t always think *I* would be one of the ones becoming institutionalized, but the sanctity of it all has always struck me as a beautiful thing.
My opinions of love vary from most of the people I know. I’m not generally an idealist. I think that love is something grown from a single seed of hope. In my mind, every person could marry any one of several potential mates - it just takes the right timing and circumstances to make it all happen. My own husband strongly disagrees with me on this matter.
He said he fell in love with me at first sight. (Yes, he is a little dramatic.)
I believe him. He is an idealist, and I think he always has been. He likes to see the innate good in people and think that things will always turn out for the best.
I don’t. I’m a planner. I make lists. I look at the pros and cons and determine which is a more likely outcome. In every situation, I see a math problem. My husband married me because he was ‘in love’. I married my husband because I saw the unique potential in our relationship. I knew that he was the best possible partner for me. I knew we would make things work through all the tough situations.
I knew it would last between us most of all because he’s a dreamer, and I’m not a quitter.
Now, two years later my love for him grows every day. I see our children in my dreams, and I feel our years together in old age in my heart. He’s helped me become a dreamer, and I’ve taught him what it truly means not to be a quitter.
All of these sappy thoughts and the CNN article made me question myself about what marriage really means. Being true to myself, I could only think of one way to express it - so here’s my list:
1.) Marriage is something sacred. It means you are allowed to wake up next to one person for the rest of your days on earth together - even if one of you has recurring bad breath.
2.) Marriage means even though you still get to maintain your own identity and opinion… you now only get half a vote.
3.) Marriage means that if you want to argue you might as well go ahead and get it out of your system because the person you’re yelling at is still going to be there after you deflate. You might want to make sure you don’t say something really stupid because the other aforementioned person also might choose to remind you about what you said for years to come.
4.) Marriage doesn’t mean you have to be on a schedule, but if its getting kind of late you might want to make a courtesy call if you don’t want to hear any yelling or sobbing when you get home.
5.) You also might want to make that call if you don’t want to sleep on the couch.
6.) Marriage also means that if you say you’re going to sleep on the couch, you should probably just go ahead and sleep on the couch instead of standing there like an idiot and huffing about sleeping on the couch. (Just a side note: Neither my husband nor I have ever actually ended up sleeping on the couch, but we’ve both talked about it way more than was actually necessary.)
7.) Marriage also means accepting the fact that you are now part of a pair, and if you ever go out alone everyone is going to ask you where your spouse is and how they are doing.
8.) Marriage also means that you aren’t alone anymore. At the end of the day, there’s always someone to go home and tell your stories to.
9.) In addition to that, marriage requires that you often listen to the same stories being told over and over and over. And over.
10.) Marriage is about compromise, and if you can’t handle the heat, you probably shouldn’t be in the kitchen.
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