Letters to the Editor

This post is going to be a little different. I’ve decided to try something that I’ve seen countless other people do and see how well it works. Here’s the idea:
All over the internet I’ve seen posts written by people that are sort of like “letters to the editor”. Basically, you write a letter to someone or something that has frustrated/angered/generally wronged you without sending it, and this process helps you get over whatever it is you’re upset about.

Let’s see how well it works, shall we?

Letter #1

Dear Printer,

You have one job, one single task, to reach fulfillment during your questionable market value lifespan of three to five years. I was led to believe that one mission in life wasn’t so much to ask, but apparently I was wrong.

I changed your cartridge.

I cleaned your printer head as per my instruction manual and online trouble shooting references.

WHY are you making nasty lines on my pages?

If I have to run one more diagnostic alignment, you’re going to become very closely acquainted with the baking soda I keep in the bottom of the trash can.

Just thought you should know,
A Concerned Customer

Letter #2

To Whomever May Drive in Front of Me:

I don’t know why your daily tasks aren’t as important as mine. I don’t get out that often, but when I do, I would like to drive a little faster than fifteen miles per hour under the speed limit. I promise you; no one is going to pull you over for driving the speed posted on the signs alongside the highway. They are there as a guideline and can be very useful if you are not aware how fast you could be going.

And how do you manage to know exactly when I leave the house? And why are you always going the same place that I am?

Do you realize how much I hate passing people on the highway?

Sincerely,

The Person Who Thinks About Ramming Your Bumper

(Seriously. Gas. Pedal.)

Letter #3

Dear Restaurant Employees,

I know I may be a little bit pickier than some people because I worked in restaurants for quite some time, but I don’t think its too much to ask that you put on gloves when you scoop my ice cream or grab my cookie. Do you realize how many germs are on the change that you’re digging through in that register? Not to mention what bodily fluids could already be on your sweaty hands.

Wash them as well, please. I know. I know. It’s a lot to ask, but I wouldn’t ask you to do it if it wasn’t something I already did myself.

With Concern,
Don’t Make Me Come Over that Cash Register

P.S. On the flip side, this is actually very good for my diet because knowing that you will be filthy, I get desserts a lot less often!

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Now, don’t we all feel better?!